Stallion
by zedrobber
Summary: "a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its potential". Spock ponders these words, and decides to take action. K/S, sex, non/dub con, swearing. POSSIBLE TRIGGERS for mention of child abuse.
1. Chapter 1

"A curious metaphor, Doctor, as a _stallion must_ first be _broken_ before it can reach its potential."

Spock found himself thinking deeply about those words in the days that followed. Had it been any other person he had been referring to, it would have been easier to ignore the loaded meaning behind that statement. As it was, he referred to _Kirk_, and Spock would relish the opportunity to break that particular person of both his arrogance and recklessness, in any way he could imagine.

The choking incident on the bridge had not been satisfactory; though he had enjoyed seeing Kirk at his mercy, his eyes panicked and his chest heaving with the exertion of simply _breathing_, he had been forced to admit that actually killing or rendering him unconscious would not have been logical, and therefore he had released the gasping, coughing human whilst trying to transfer the utter disdain he felt through every pore of his being.

The humiliation of relinquishing his position had barely registered; his mind too full of the revelation he had just picked up from the surface thoughts of Kirk's mind.

_Kirk was aroused by Spock's behaviour._

Spock did not know whether to be intrigued or simply disgusted at this knowledge- and so he filed it away neatly for further examination when convenient. However the fact remained that Kirk was _not_ broken – if anything, he was more arrogant, more irritating than before, the assurance of his temporary Captaincy giving him even more fuel for his mistaken ego than ever before. Spock found his lack of humility and his over-active confidence confusing and fascinating. He could not understand how one man- who drank entirely too much alcohol, clearly had never been in a meaningful relationship, and hadn't even graduated the Academy- could have so much confidence in his own rash decisions.

He took it upon himself to find out what made Kirk lose his control, taking every opportunity to oppose him, belittle him, or undermine him in an attempt to elicit a response he could understand and use against him, the attempt becoming an obsession within a matter of days. It would be a lie to say that Spock saw no potential in the young human; far from it. Kirk had an unusual talent for making last-minute plans work in unexpectedly brilliant ways; a sort of unconscious ability to feel his way through a crisis and come out alive. However he was unrefined, undisciplined, and disorganised- and Spock intended to use anything he could to "break" this metaphorical stallion.

He told himself it was for the good of the crew- that a more efficient Captain would benefit them all. He did not admit, even to himself, that he was more than curious as to how much Kirk could take before he snapped like an overstretched bow string. He certainly did not acknowledge that he too had been somewhat aroused by that incident on the bridge, or that this tiny seed of an idea had become a fixation, a desperate attempt to burrow under the skin of his illogical, almost intolerably brilliant Captain.

Spock began with subtle things; standing too close to Kirk on the bridge, disagreeing with his ideas simply to elicit a reaction, arguing with him for the sake of it and cataloguing every response he got.

The latest example of this was a particularly vicious argument that began on the bridge.

"Spock, I really don't see how your opinion has anything to do with my decision right now-I've already made the call."

"I believe your decision to be erroneous."

"Well when don't you?"

"It is hardly my fault that you continue to make disorganised, ill-informed decisions despite my best efforts to correct you."

"_Correct me?_ I'm sorry Spock, I didn't realise you were my father-"

"How would you have a basis of comparison on that front?"

Kirk hesitated, a flash of uncertainty in his eyes that Spock catalogued neatly away, before his face contorted into a snarl of fury. "Don't you _fucking_ dare."

"I was merely observing that your own father died as you were born, and therefore you would not have a basis of comparison as to my own advice being like his." Spock very carefully kept his voice neutral, knowing it annoyed Kirk even further.

"Would you care to discuss this further in my quarters, _Commander?" _Spock of course knew that 'discuss' meant 'argue some more', and he was fine with that scenario.

"If you desire, Captain."

"Then report there after our shift. To your station."

"Very well."


	2. Chapter 2

Kirk was already in his quarters when Spock arrived, not bothering to announce his presence before entering. The door closed behind him and Kirk was on his feet in an instant, his eyes narrowed and darker than Spock recalled seeing in weeks. It sent a hot flash of arousal through the Vulcan, the human almost _glowing_ white hot in his anger. It occurred to Spock briefly that he had never seen Kirk react so strongly to anyone else.

"What the _hell_ was that?" he hissed through gritted teeth. "Are you _trying_ to get me to hit you?"

_Indeed,_ Spock thought with some smugness. He did not answer, Kirk pacing towards him deliberately. Spock began cataloguing reactions and expressions to compare them with his other attempts at getting under Kirk's skin- but he found himself suddenly pushed, _hard_, against the wall of Kirk's room, the Captain bracing his hands either side of Spock's head and leaning in close to practically spit his words into the Vulcan's face- "You have no fucking idea, Spock, do you? You can't _imagine_ a world where your logic and your fucking _rituals_ mean nothing to anyone!"

Spock blinked, somewhat surprised by the turn of events unfolding. "I can assure you, _Captain_, that I am very much aware of my own culture's limited dispersion throughout the galaxy."

"Even more so since your precious little planet got all blown up, I guess."

"I would advise you against speaking about Vulcan in this manner." This was not going according to plan; Spock found he was becoming slightly emotionally compromised at both the proximity of his Captain and his words.

"You mean like how you spoke about my father? Well tough shit, Spock." Kirk pressed himself closer, his body hot against Spock's. His face was less than an inch from the Vulcan's, his breath warm on Spock's cheek. "I've had just about enough of you baiting me recently- what the _fuck _is going on? 'Cos honestly, it's not going to work, whatever it is you're doing. I'm Captain of this ship and I intend to be for as long as I can- whether or not you think I should be."

It was at this moment that Spock realised that Kirk was hard, his cock pressing almost painfully against Spock's thigh.

"I would not presume to know what Starfleet Command has in store for your- _career-, _Captain. However I will not allow you to make mistakes, nor to endanger the lives of your crew with your rash, ill-informed plans."

Kirk was suddenly, impossibly closer, his teeth almost grazing Spock's throat, his erection grinding mercilessly against Spock through their uniforms. "I think, Spock," he said, so quietly that Spock had to stop breathing to hear him properly, "I think that you _get off_ on making me angry."

_That is not the reason-_ Spock wanted to say, but he could not form the words, some part of his mind knowing that it was at least _partially_ true, despite his grand plan to break the human. His own cock was responding to Kirk's insistent proximity, humiliating the Vulcan further.

This was not correct.

"And-" Kirk sneered at him, his voice deceptively soft as he spoke against Spock's neck. "I think that the only reason you involved my father in your little game is because you are all too aware of your own…shortcomings…regarding your parents."

"What do you mean by that?" Spock replied quietly.

"I mean that your mother _died_ as you watched, Spock- and you just stood there, doing nothing-"

"That is _enough-"_

"Is it? I don't think it is, Spock. I think you _could_ have saved her if you'd just tried a little harder- perhaps you didn't care enough to-"

Spock's head began to hum with rage, a blinding, painful cloud of noise and colour that he could barely think through; and before he was fully aware of his actions he had grabbed Kirk by the throat, pushing and turning until it was the human pinned against the wall like an insect in a display cabinet, Spock squeezing at his neck and snarling into his ear. "You will cease to talk." The blood pounded in his temples and his breath was harsh, roaring through his ears. His cock was painfully, achingly hard now, and Spock began to formulate a new plan.

_He believes he has won this argument- I cannot allow it. I will break him- there are ways I have not explored as of yet. _

A slow smirk spread across his features as he processed this thought, his grip on Kirk's neck lessening slightly so he could pull back to stare into the human's eyes, cold and unflinching.

"I intend to break you, _human,_" Spock growled. "One way or another."

"That's what you've been doing?" Kirk huffed out a painful laugh, coughing with the effort. "All this time?"

"You are most stubborn," the Vulcan snarled, irritated by Kirk's response.

"Oh _Commander,_ you have _no_ idea." This time it was a real laugh, Spock's grip faltering for a second in his confusion at the human's lack of fear. "Do your worst."

"I fully intend to," Spock snarled, his eyes narrow, his lips thin with rage. "You will regret your words."

"When don't I?" Kirk replied with more than a touch of self-loathing, as Spock grabbed him by the shoulders and turned, pushing him bodily towards the bed and slamming him down onto it.

He began to tear Kirk's uniform from him, careless and savage, until the human was naked and breathless under him, his cock still achingly hard and his eyes wide with fear and more than a little arousal.

"What, you think fucking me will do the job? _Please._"

"I will assume that your words indicate permission. Regardless, I intend to continue."

Spock relished the way Kirk's breath hitched at that, his face clouded with confusion and lust. He could not hide his own arousal; Kirk was as beautiful as he was infuriating, his body almost begging to be devoured- and Spock had been denying his emotions for too long, the strain unbearable. He removed his own uniform, taking his time so that Kirk had a few moments to regret his words further, before he straddled the human and pinned his wrists to the bed deftly with one hand.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! reviews already? :) Just to let you guys know, this is a short one- 5 chapters only I'm afraid. They're all written, so I'll be updating regularly over the next few days. It's just to tide people over while I write a long one I'm doing. :) Thanks for the reviews!**

"Spock-" Kirk attempted, but Spock didn't give him chance to finish, sneering as he pushed two fingers into the human's mouth, watching Kirk gag on them.

"If you want _any_ lubrication, you would be wise to begin sucking," Spock said softly, chuckling darkly when Kirk complied almost eagerly, whimpering.

"Good. Much better. However I doubt that this will be sufficient for pleasurable penetration. Pity." He removed his fingers from Kirk's mouth, leaning back onto his knees. "Turn over. I do not wish to look at you."

Kirk slowly did so, frowning. He clearly didn't like being told what to do, and Spock was glad, aching to fuck him until he screamed and begged for mercy- to break _him_ as surely as the human had broken his own self-control, had forced Spock to _feel_ in ways he could not have thought possible.

Spock dragged Kirk onto his hands and knees roughly, preparing him with his slick fingers in such a brief, cursory manner that he may as well have not bothered; the human hissing through his teeth and scrabbling at the sheets in pain. Spock spat on his hand, spreading the last of the wetness over his erection, before digging his nails painfully hard into Kirk's hips and driving his cock deep into the human, Kirk sobbing and shaking beneath him.

"_Fuck-" _Kirk groaned, and Spock smirked, barely pausing before pulling almost all the way out and slamming back in. The human felt _amazing_ around Spock's swollen cock, tight and hot and completely overwhelming, drowning him in sensation that he had fought for so long to avoid. Kirk moaned, his breath catching as he shuddered with another sob.

_He will not last long,_ the Vulcan thought with satisfaction, beginning to thrust savagely. _Soon he will be begging me to stop._

But Kirk did not, despite the brutal assault. Spock snarled, fucking the human even more powerfully and twisting a hand into his hair until Kirk was gasping for breath between his tears even as he pushed himself back onto the Vulcan's cock, groaning as the pain lessened, becoming almost pleasurable despite the savagery of Spock's attack.

"Beg me to stop, _Captain_, and I may," Spock goaded. "Or are you too useless even for that? Can you not even manage a simple plea, you worthless, obnoxious _human_?"

Kirk grunted in reply, his head low and his breathing sharp. Spock suddenly realised that Kirk had his hand wrapped around his own cock.

_That cannot be._ He pulled back hard on the Captain's hair, dragging Kirk almost to his knees and driving Spock's erection even deeper inside him, and snarled into his ear. "Did I say you could fucking touch yourself?"

"Did I ask?" was the choked reply, as Spock pushed hard on Kirk's back, throwing him down onto his hands and knees in fury and dragging his nails down the human's back hard enough to leave red lines in his wake. He began to thrust even harder, using all of his strength and fearing for the first time that it may not be enough as Kirk only groaned obscenely, his back arching as he came into his hand powerfully enough that Spock felt the waves of his orgasm as an echo through their physical contact.

With a choked growl, Spock pulled out of the human, flipping him onto his back easily and pulling him closer so that he could drive his cock back into him, face to face now, Kirk's legs hooked over his shoulders and trembling with the aftershocks of climax.

"I did not give you permission to come."

"Tough- tough shit," Kirk mumbled, his body limp and more relaxed now as Spock continued to drive into him, frustrated and furious with both his own inability and Kirk's smug, glazed expression. He reached down to slap Kirk hard across the face, but the human just grinned lazily and chuckled.

"That all you got, Spock?"

Spock hit him again, hard enough that Kirk spat blood, but the arrogance never left the Captain's face and Spock became even more frustrated, remorselessly fucking him hard enough that his own limbs were trembling with exertion.

Finally he could hold back his own orgasm no longer, pulling out and crawling up Kirk's body only to come in his face, the human blinking and shocked- but no longer complacent as he wiped at the sticky mess with his hand.

And then, slowly, with a grin that Spock had only heard referred to as "shit-eating", Kirk licked at his fingers, cleaning them with his tongue.

Spock had not succeeded.


	4. Chapter 4

There was a long, uncomfortable silence as Spock climbed off Kirk and began to dress himself once more; watching the human in his peripheral vision as he tried to move and found his body could not, clearly in a lot of pain. Kirk grimaced, propping himself up on his elbows and staring silently at Spock, his face a mixture of curiosity, betrayal and the last traces of sleepy contentment. He did not look broken, nor did he seem to be angry with Spock anymore.

Spock did not look at him further, turning on his heel and leaving the room in what he hoped was a calm manner.

He did not feel calm.

He returned to his own quarters, tense and irritated- mostly with himself, if he was honest. The implications of his actions began to work their way through his mind, and his blood turned to ice in his veins.

He had _raped_ his Captain- regardless of Kirk's evident arousal, he had not waited for consent nor permission before taking him for his own purposes. If Kirk reported him- his career, his _life_ would be shattered, taken from him in humiliation. Why had he allowed his … his _emotions-_ to take control of him like that? Why had it become such a necessity to break Kirk at all? Surely he was being more than irrational in his efforts to do so?

Surely though, Kirk could not report him without also explaining how he was aroused and willing.

_It is illogical_, he fretted as he climbed into his bed, the sheets cold despite the comfortable temperature in the room. _He emotionally compromises me beyond my comprehension. I have a multitude of conflicting feelings towards him and I cannot begin to search through them to find a semblance of cohesion because they are blurred; tangled into a knot I cannot untie. I do not understand him- I wish to, desperately. I also wish to hurt him, but I do not know why- and I feel guilt, shame, embarrassment for doing so! My Vulcan upbringing could not prepare me for a human such as this one._

_He is fascinating. I want him- in so many ways that I cannot understand which is correct._

He slept badly that night, unable to calm himself even with meditation.

It was a few days before they argued again; Spock had decided that keeping his distance from Kirk was a good course of action and had therefore ceased his efforts to undermine him at all opportunities. He settled instead for staring at the Captain from his station; his gut churning with the conflicting emotions he could not express. Kirk barely even looked at him unless it was to ask for an opinion or a reading. Spock could not decide if this was good- or if it was _dreadful_.

Eventually, the lack of friction between them became friction in itself; Kirk beginning to frown slightly when he glanced to his right and Spock was not there, and Spock almost physically _itching_ all over to get back into the Captain's personal space, to trade barbed comments and thinly veiled threats. It was like the air between them had become charged with static, and every other crew member felt it when they crossed its path- a sharp glance up, a shrug and a frown before they moved on. Spock almost felt it crackle when they locked eyes- a completely illogical statement, he knew, but the correct one nonetheless.

He could no longer take the suspense- or the lack of contact- when Kirk was being more than usually stubborn, refusing to make an unscheduled stop to pick up some supplies when their schedule left a perfectly reasonable amount of time to do so. Before he even really knew he was doing it, Spock had left his station and was stood at Kirk's side silently, waiting for acknowledgement. The air sucked back into the room suddenly- everything back into sharp focus after days of what felt like blurred edges. He could almost feel the heartbeat of the human, steady and strong in his chest; could feel the waves of warmth emanating from his body.

"Spock-" Kirk said suddenly, glancing at him with what looked like quickly hidden surprise. "I assume you have an opinion?"

"I do, Captain," Spock replied, with a hint of self-righteous smugness. He found that he wasn't even attempting to break Kirk, just irritate him a little. "I believe you are making an error of judgement."

"I believe you are a pain in my ass," Kirk grinned, a touch of warmth and humour in his eyes.

"Indeed? I do not see how any pain or injury to your posterior could be attributed to me_- today_."

Kirk's eyes widened fractionally as he realised what Spock was referring to, and Spock was intrigued to see him shift his stance to hide what looked to be a growing erection in his uniform pants.

"I was speaking metaphorically, of course," the human said after a short pause.

"Indeed."

"So you think I should make the supply drop?"

"That would be the logical course of action, Captain, yes. However I am fully aware of your rather large blind spot in relation to such matters."

Kirk shrugged. "Starfleet said no, I'm just following orders."

"For once."

"Thanks. Look- it's not happening."

"I believe you are making an error of judgement-"

"Since when do you think it's an _error_ to follow orders, Spock? Did I miss the memo?"

"I do not recall circulating a memo, Captain, however I am bound by my duty to point out your errors in command, and-"

"Well, I didn't _ask_ for your fucking opinion, Spock- it's always the same, you just can't help yourself-"

"Captain, I do not think this is an appropriate response-"

"I think it is, _Spock._ If you have anything further to say on the matter, you may come to my quarters after shift. Until then, report to your station."

"..Yes, Captain."

Spock returned to his console, puzzled and a little troubled. Kirk was clearly still harbouring uncomfortable feelings towards him after the…incident. He had not seemed angry at first- perhaps he mistakenly thought Spock's good-humoured intentions were malicious as they had been previously.

Spock resolved to try and rectify the matter later on that evening.


	5. Chapter 5

Kirk, however, did not seem to be in a receptive mood when Spock arrived at his door. He allowed the Vulcan in, but did not pay much attention to him for a long few minutes as he was filling out some paperwork. Spock stood awkwardly, his hands clasped behind his back, until Kirk looked up from his desk with a sigh.

"So I'm guessing you did want to have the last word after all?"

"I came to resolve some misunderstanding-"

"About what, Spock. About the supply run? About the fact you raped me? Or about the blatantly obvious fact that you are _still_ attempting to break me, undermining me and disagreeing with me all the _damn time?"_

"I was not," Spock said slowly. "I was merely engaging in what I thought were friendly exchanges."

"You were-" Kirk shook his head, disbelief in his eyes. "I find that very hard to-"

"Indeed. Nonetheless, Captain, I did not have any deeper intent."

After a short pause, Kirk let out a long breath, nodding faintly. "Alright."

"You do not wish to argue?"

Kirk shrugged. "I don't see the point."

Spock frowned, tilting his head to the side. This was unexpected. "Captain," he said hesitantly, taking a step forward.

"Hmm?"

"I am concerned that you do not wish to continue with your point. Are you quite well?"

Kirk was looking at him like he'd gone crazy- and maybe he had, what was he doing? _Why do I find myself concerned with his wellbeing so often? I want to hurt him- but I want to keep him safe._

_Is this what humans call love? If so, it is a strain on my mental and emotional faculties as well as being exhausting physically._

"Yeah Spock, I'm fine." The small smile Kirk gave him didn't reach his eyes, the usually clear blue of his gaze troubled and almost- distrusting? Spock frowned even more, reaching out to place a hand onto Kirk's shoulder in what he had come to understand as a comforting gesture. Kirk almost flinched away, and through the physical contact Spock was assaulted with a rush of emotion he could barely comprehend- _don'tlethimfindoutcan'ttellhimwhyhecan'tbreakme-al readybroken-_

Spock blinked, gripping Kirk's arm more tightly, pulling the human towards him, the chair creaking under the unusual angle Kirk was being tugged in. The Vulcan reached out to Kirk's face almost automatically, wanting to _see_, to understand what the human's brain was screaming about-to find out what he meant, _why_ it was that Spock had been unable to break him after all- and he was almost oblivious to Kirk's actual protests, his only focus to delve into the Captain's head and to find out what his panic was about. He splayed his fingers over Kirk's face, initiating a meld despite all of his Vulcan training telling him not to do so without consent, his only concern that of the mental distress he could sense in Kirk and wanting to understand; to learn- and perhaps to discover the key to breaking him, though he pushed it to the back of his mind as a dangerous thought.

Kirk's head was a mess of thought and colour; a chaotic swirl of light and sound which completely overwhelmed Spock for a long moment until he recovered, searching through Kirk's thoughts efficiently. The human tried desperately to shut the doors of his mind, to backtrack and scrabble away from Spock's probing mental consciousness, but he was untrained, unable to block the assault despite his best efforts.

"Spock-" Kirk was yelling, inside his head and out- but Spock was too invested, too far into Kirk's mind to pull out without his answers, and he pushed deeper still, feeling Kirk trying so hard to push him out that he almost stumbled despite his superior control. The human was desperate, sobbing mentally and physically, and in pain- his mind shattering where Spock pushed through, the shards jagged and agonising. _I should stop-_ Spock thought vaguely, knowing that this was rape just as surely as the last time he had violated Kirk's body, but he couldn't, curiosity and determination winning over his compassion and morality. _Let me, I need to know-_

_Please stop no- Spock, you can't, I can't-_

_There-_

Spock pushed brutally through the last, hastily erected barrier that Kirk had thrown up in his mind, and was suddenly engulfed in a wave of noise, of fractured images and half-remembered conversations.

Kirk, a young boy, curled on the floor in a room, bruised, bleeding and terrified-

_I'll fucking kill you, you little shit_

_Please no, I'm sorry I'm sorry_

Raising his hands to his face, trying to avoid the blows raining down on him- feeling his nose splinter under the attack and curling in on himself

_StoppleaseIdidn'tmeanto-_

_You're worthless, you fucking piece of shit—you'll never be anything except a disappointment_

His clothes being ripped from him, the cold air shocking on his already painful skin, sobbing because he knows exactly what's coming

_Stop I can't I won't do it again I'm sorry_

_You don't tell me what to do, boy_

Being manhandled onto his knees, a cock- dirty, stinking of sweat and beer and fury- shoved into his face, his hair pulled exquisitely painfully until his mouth opens in a scream and it is forced down his throat and held there

_This is the only thing you're good for, you worthless little bastard_

Turned onto his stomach, the immense weight of the fully grown man bearing down onto his back, the torturous pain of the rape somehow worse than all the beatings he has received till now, screaming till his throat is raw and still nobody comes, his brother gone, his mother off planet and this man-this monster- the only person supposed to be looking out for him

_Now shut your face and if you breathe a fucking word I'll kill you_

_yesIwon'tIpromiseI'msorry_

_Quit your snivelling, you fucking faggot, or I'll give you something to cry about_

Collecting his clothes, trying to find a place to hide, to recover, and knowing that as long as he lives here there is NO place, nowhere for him to ever be whole, to fix himself.

Knowing that he is broken.

When Spock retreated, Kirk didn't make eye contact, his whole body seeming to curl in on itself like he'd been deflated.

"But yet you are not broken-"Spock said softly, still not fully understanding what he had just seen.

"I fixed myself."

Spock took a long moment, processing the information he had received. "You were-"

"I don't want to talk about it. Not that it fucking matters since you just went ahead and took what you wanted."

"I-I am sorry. Truly."

"Yeah, I've heard that before."

"You cannot be broken because you already were," Spock mused out loud. "You were taken apart once, unspeakably cruelly- and you have rebuilt yourself as a whole." A surge of admiration, respect and – affection?- welled up inside him, emotions he was unprepared for. He was surprised to find his own breath hitching in his chest.

"I should never have tried to break you."

Kirk blinked, raising his eyes questioningly to Spock. "You don't think that you have?"

"No. I do not believe it is possible- ever again."

Kirk smiled a little, wryly. "That what you saw in your mind-thing, huh?"

"That is what I have decided, based upon the facts. You are unbreakable, James Kirk, and no one should try to prove otherwise."

"_You_ seem to have taken me apart in ways I can't fix," the human said regretfully. "In here." He splayed a hand over his chest. "I wish I was unbreakable in here, too, because I know I have no chance."

"You are stupid and illogical."

"…Thanks?"

"You do not think that you have also undone me in the same manner? I am unable to function without you- and I believed erroneously that it was because of my obsession with breaking you, when I do not now believe that to be the case. I was not aware you were similarly troubled."

"Oh."

"Captain?"

"Are you- I mean, are you serious? You're not fucking with me, are you, because that would be-"

"I assure you, Captain, that I am not, as you put it, 'fucking with you.'"

"Good, 'cos I don't think I could take that as well." Kirk eyed him warily. "You know, I would prefer it if next time you wanted to know my deep psychological trauma, you'd just ask so I could refuse to tell you like a normal person."

"That does not make sense, Cap-"

"Spock, just don't go digging again unless I say it's okay. Okay? I'm serious. I can't do that again."

"Yes, Captain." He felt ashamed, deeply sorry that he had not been in control.

With a small smile, Kirk stood, stepping closer to Spock. The Vulcan hardly dared breathe, uncertain as to how this was going to go-expecting a punch at the least.

Instead, Kirk reached out to touch Spock's neck, wrapping his fingers around the nape and curling them, pulling Spock in for a kiss that was somehow tender and possessive in one; his fingers brushing through Spock's hair, his lips demanding, and warm, so _warm_ compared to the Vulcan. Spock reached out blindly, grabbing at the human, pulling him closer and wrapping his arms tightly around him. He felt suddenly as though he might fall- illogical, but true nonetheless. He deepened the kiss, overwhelmed, like he was drowning in Kirk and loving every single second. Seconds later, his back hit the wall. He hadn't even noticed that Kirk had been pushing him backwards, and he was left breathless as the human pulled back to stare up at him searchingly. His blood pounded in his ears, his breath was shallow and difficult to regulate. Kirk's eyes were wide and honest, and Spock saw in them the determination and the steel which had got him this far in life. And then the thought was lost as Kirk kissed him again, hard and almost bruising, Spock pushing out and turning them so it was the Captain against the wall, grinning wildly and panting, his hands around Spock's back, under his shirt; Kirk's nails digging into the soft skin at the small of his back and Spock's fingers tangled in the human's hair tightly, holding him in place. Spock hissed through his teeth, arching his back into the sensation and moving to kiss at Kirk's throat, feeling the soft thrum of the human's heartbeat against his lips, vulnerable and beautiful. He pulled back, taking Kirk's hands and moving them to the bed silently, allowing himself a small, wicked smile at the eagerness with which the human complied. Spock tugged insistently at the Captain's clothing, removing the uniform in less than a minute and roaming his hands possessively over Kirk's skin, digging blunt nails into his stomach, his chest- touching every inch that he could reach, claiming every piece of soft flesh as his own, gently, cautious without consciously realising. Kirk groaned, his eyes half closed, as Spock bent his head to lick across Kirk's collarbone, sucking it delicately.

"No, Spock," the human gasped out finally, pushing ineffectually at Spock's shoulder. "You don't need to be gentle, I won't break-please-"

With graceful, unhurried movements, Spock removed his own clothing and sat on the bed, Kirk dropping onto his lap almost awkwardly. Wrapping his legs around Spock's waist, Kirk kissed him again, urgently, the Vulcan taking the hint, dragging him against his body tightly; his cock sliding maddeningly against the Captain's arse as the human rocked his hips. Spock groaned into the kiss, twisting his hand tightly into Kirk's hair and pulling him in, his own hips pushing up in a bid for friction. Kirk grinned wickedly, wrapping his arms around Spock's neck and lifting himself up, his lips at Spock's ear.

"Fuck me."

Spock did not need to be invited twice, spitting into his hand and slicking up his cock before pushing first one, then two still wet fingers into Kirk, who groaned, leaning his head onto Spock's shoulder and pushing down, fucking himself on the Vulcan's fingers with beautiful abandon. Spock could not wait; his impatience infectious as he removed his fingers and watched breathlessly as Kirk impaled himself onto Spock's erection, hissing through his teeth as he was filled completely. The Vulcan could barely believe how _beautiful_ Kirk looked as he raised himself up again, driving down onto Spock's achingly hard cock once more. Spock pushed his own hips up to meet Kirk, pushing himself into the human to the hilt. Tightening his arms around Spock's neck, Kirk began to fuck himself slowly, Spock burying himself into him over and over, relentless and almost excruciatingly pleasurable. Kirk opened his eyes, his breath ragged, a low, constant stream of "fuck- oh fuck Spock," spilling from his lips like a prayer. Through their physical contact, Spock got an impression of Kirk's thoughts, the hum of his pleasure reverberating through the Vulcan in turn. Spock could hardly think clearly, his only thought that he should never have tried to break this human- this intolerable, wonderful, _gorgeously_ alive and vibrant being in his arms. It was useless and cruel to continue. The thought was lost almost instantly as Kirk began to move faster, his hands gripping Spock's shoulder tightly as he neared orgasm, his eyes dark and locked with the Vulcan's. "Fuck-" he hissed through gritted teeth. Spock snarled wordlessly and leaned his head in to kiss the human, wrapping one hand around his cock and _squeezing_ deliciously, smirking as Kirk came onto the Vulcan's stomach, his climax triggering Spock's almost instantaneously. Kirk sagged bonelessly against Spock, his arms loosely around his waist. Spock buried his face into Kirk's neck, breathing hard and loving the feel of the human's pulse flickering against his cheek, fast and strong. They fell silent for a long moment, finally shifting to lie beside each other on the bed.

"Thank you," Kirk said finally, not making eye contact.

"For what?"

"For not treating me like I was fragile."

"I do not believe you are. Far from it."

"Good." Kirk smiled vaguely, staring at the ceiling. "I guess we're done then- you've satisfied your curiosity, you know why it's so hard to break me-"

"I do not understand."

"That's the reason you just fucked me, right? A pity fuck? An apology?"

"No."

Kirk turned his head, his eyes dark and uncomprehending. "Then why?"

"You were – I desired you, Captain. I believe we have already had this discussion prior to our activity."

"I didn't believe you."

"Perhaps you should reconsider. I have no plans to be 'done' with you for many, many years to come. I would appreciate your co-operation."

"Oh."

"Furthermore, I would also appreciate your consent to pursue a relationship-"

"Shit, Spock. You're so romantic."

"I do not understand."

"I know. Alright, you great big dork. Consent granted- fuck's sake." He said it with affection, and so Spock was not troubled by the language choice.

"Captain-"

"Spock, we just fucked, can you _please_ call me Jim."

"How did you fix yourself, Jim?"

"A lot of pretending. I believe the phrase is 'fake it till you make it.' Eventually it sticks and you can move the hell on."

"Jim- I am truly sorry for what I did-"

"I know. Don't….don't do it again? Please?" He looked small, pleading, his eyes wide and worried. Spock felt like the worst kind of monster. "I would never."

"Okay. Good." Jim sighed, stretching out across Spock's stomach. "You're comfortable."

"I must assure you that I am far from comfort-"

"Shut up Spock, I'm sleepy."

"Yes, Jim."

**Just a small one, guys. Working on a longer/better one too. Also have a one shot coming. This is now finished.**


End file.
